The Trouble with Systems

I apologize for the long break since the last post. Call it sick leave: my stress levels, rarely comfortable, have hit near-record highs over the past few weeks. Posts may well continue to be sporadic for some time.

What really hurts is that just as God seems to be developing in me a solid sense of my long-term calling--"to write Christ's comfort to the stressed, depressed, and hard-pressed"--He also seems to have decided I need more experience as one of them. No sooner is one anxiety relieved than another asserts itself; and no matter what I do (including prayer) in terms of time management, there's never enough margin in a day to keep me from getting frazzled.

All too easily, time management mutates from a tool to aid in God's work into a substitute god; if you're anything like me, dropping an item from the schedule can feel like surgery without anesthetic. We think we have everything laid out and under control--and then "life happens." It hurts to admit we judged poorly in scheduling something; it hurts to cut our forward momentum and turn onto a new path; and it hurts to give up something we'd been counting on.

Such happenings are, of course, God's tools for reminding us only He can be counted on. Sometimes we want to scream at Him for letting us go in the wrong direction in the first place, particularly if it was a good direction in itself. It seems that not only would our lives be easier, but God's work would get done more efficiently, if He were a bit more specific in His guidance. But He evidently has more important ends in mind--ends we can't see from our human perspective.

So is it wrong to make plans and schedules? Of course not. What's wrong is to become addicted to them--so fixated that the God of the still small voice can't get our attention without shouting.

Every book and every website--
So it seems this hurried day--
Knows the "secret" to resolving
All life's struggles and dismay.

If you use this planning system;
If you pray this acronym;
If you think along these guidelines,
You will never stress again.

Are you sure? Just look at Scripture:
Mood swings plagued the Psalmists too,
And the prophets knew frustration,
And apostles failed like you.

Even Jesus, Who was perfect,
Had His days of stress and strain--
That He might be fully human,
And might truly know our pain.

Peace of mind is won through struggle;
Growing pains may last for years;
God is never in a hurry.
All our setbacks, all our tears,

Are His tools to make us stronger,
Shaping us to go His way.
Trust His hand and wait in patience;
Bear your burden every day.

In the end, when all is finished,
When we reach God's perfect rest,
We will see how trials and struggles
Made us His and made us blessed!

Rocks and Water

The time-management speaker set two wide-mouthed glass jars on the podium and dumped jumbo marbles into one until they reached the top. "Is this jar full?" he asked his audience.

"Yes, it is," they replied.

"Are you sure?" He produced a bucket of sand and poured that in around the marbles until it reached the top of the jar. "You can see there was room for more. Is the jar full now?"

This time, the audience eyed him suspiciously—and silently.  

"You're right, it still isn't full." The speaker picked up a pitcher of water and tilted that over the jar. The water poured in for several seconds, then began to trickle over the sides. "Now it's full. What can we learn from this?"

"No matter how full your life is," someone called, "you always can manage to squeeze in more than you think!"

"Are you sure?" The speaker turned to the second jar and tipped the pitcher again. In flowed the water, rising and rising until it hovered around the brim. "Is this jar full?"

A moment's nervous silence passed before someone ventured, "It probably is."

"You're right, and here's proof." The speaker dropped in a marble. Drips of water immediately escaped over the rim and trickled down the sides. "Now, what can we learn by considering both jars together?"

The room was quiet for a full minute. Finally, a hand shot up. "I know! If you don't put the big things into your life first, your life will get so full of little things that you'll end up with no room for the big ones!"

What do you put into your schedule first? Big things, such as prayer, Bible study, and serving your neighbors? Or little things such as household cleaning, television, and e-mail?

Try it both ways and see which leaves sufficient room for the other.

Fill a jar with rocks and pebbles, space will yet remain around;

If you pour in sand between them, room to hold a cup is found.

Fill a jar with sand and gravel, it’s still not quite full, you know:

Add a quarter cup of water, and it will not overflow.

Fill an empty jar with water, get it rising to the brim,

And it sloshes on the table when you drop a pebble in.

Fill your life with things important, and the basic tasks still fit;

Fill your life with mindless actions—and that’s all you’ll ever get.

Clock Watcher

I have a time management problem--I manage it too thoroughly! In the interest of "not letting a moment go to waste," I always scheduled, down to the last quarter hour, everything from travel time to pleasure reading ("at 100 pages an hour, I'll finish this novel by bedtime"). If I intended to log off my e-mail at 5:00, and an unexpected message kept me on until 5:01, I gave myself a mental spanking.

It seemed to work when I was younger. But then the world began speeding up while I slowed down, and the "this much time you may spend, not one second longer" labels started to turn even pleasure activities into chores to be gotten out of the way. Like Martha, I was so "worried and upset" about the "many things" that "had to" be done that I couldn't hear the Lord inviting me let the doing wait so I could take time for being--being with Him.

Change has not come easily. Even when my body is still, my mind tries to distract me with constant whispers of what I'm missing out on, telling me not to waste my time.... Praying is a waste of time? Even Christians often live as if it were. Sitting at God's feet feels so passive. We should be up accomplishing things. Isn't it up to us to save the world?

Actually, God already did that. When we think we "have to" do everything, that's our pride talking--and we know what goes before a fall (cf. Prov. 16:18). For those of us who never take our eyes off the clock, that fall frequently comes in the form of a collapse into depression, if not a complete breakdown. The only way to avoid that path is to keep our primary focus on God and avoid giving too much of our attention to anything else.

Especially the clock.

Every slot of my day is scheduled,
Every hour of my time is planned.
Work and play time alike are pedaled
To the beat of a schedule grand.
Every moment my brain runs forward;
Every tick of the hand of time,
As the hours of each week march onward,
Draws a glance from my conscious mind.

I've no mind to give full attention
To the task of the moment here,
Always drawn toward the next's rendition,
Ever nagged by a lingering fear
I will never do all I long to,
Never finish life's endless store:
And even the God I belong to
Gets "this prayer time, and nothing more!"

Lord, from You come the interruptions;
Lord, You only know every task
That was meant for my own life's functions,
Yet I rarely take time to ask.
I serve gods labeled Plan and Order,
Brutal tyrants who wield the whip
Should I step out of schedule's border,
Should one minute unnoted slip.

Lord, forgive me my pride so stubborn,
Ever yearning for life's controls.
Set me free from this crushing burden;
Save me from my own self-made goals.
Turn my heart to the Master's pathways:
Make me willing to set aside
Earthly glitter and lures attractive,
Taking You as my One True Guide!